My sweet baby boy is one month old today and I am just now getting around to writing his birth story. I have really been soaking in the newborn phase and the snuggly goodness. Sure I've had "lots to do" but I have so much help right now that I have taken full advantage! This is the first time that the month hasn't felt like it totally flew by because I took full advantage of everyday. However, it does feel crazy that he is already a month old!
His birth was kind of crazy...ok, super crazy. For me at least.
Guess I should start at the very beginning. Around 38 weeks my blood pressure was up. So much so that they sent me in for monitoring and were thinking I might have to be induced. I was induced with Noah for high BP that was up at the same time in my pregnancy. Super odd that my baby boys give me high BP at the end. I don't experience any other symptoms besides swelling, so it never escalates to preeclampsia. With Noah my BP never went down and I was induced at 39 weeks. This time around it kept fluctuating. I went in for monitoring and it was already back into the normal range. I was SO relieved because I was NOT wanting to be induced or ready to have the baby. I had Siena without an induction and the experience is so different when it "just happens". Obviously, if it was medically necessary I wouldn't have argued, but I was very hopeful baby would come on his own ( I can say "his" now that we all know his gender! haha).
before monitoring...wondering if it would be my last bump pic
After the monitoring they decided I needed to have twice weekly appointments to monitor my BP. At the time I figured he would come at any time anyways because I had Siena at 38 weeks I was expecting the same this time. Especially since this pregnancy just felt like he was going to be early. The contractions, pressure...you name it I just felt it would happen, but Mr. Sawyer had other plans. My doctor did check me at the 38 week appointment and I was a 2 and 50%.
At week 39 my BP was still in normal range, and when I checked it at home it was also staying in the normal range. At my second 39 week appointment I was offered scheduling an induction but at that point I still didn't feel great about it. Plus, the first available date was Mother's Day (my due date) and I wanted to be with my mom and kids on Mother's Day, unless he wanted to come on his own of course. I decided to wait it out and if anything schedule at my next appointment. They weren't going to let me go past 41 weeks anyways.
At 40 weeks I was finally feeling over it and ready to have this baby. I was beyond uncomfortable at this point. My hips were killing me when I slept and I was just achy and HOT. I had my appointment at 40 weeks 1 day and I was feeling kind of "puffy". Sure enough, my blood pressure was elevated. At this point they said that there was no reason to leave the baby in when I am past my due date and risk me getting preeclampsia, so that day I was going to be induced.
I felt at peace with this decision because I hated "picking" a date for the induction myself. I don't know why! So I was glad that it was being done for me. I knew I had a nice healthy baby and that it was just "time".
Robbie and I grabbed food and called our families to let them know what was going on. Thankfully we had my inlaws to watch the "big" kids for us! Robbie was thinking ahead and already had our bags in the car "just in case", so we were totally ready to just head to the hospital.
The induction process was a bit different this time than it was with Noah. I was checked by my midwife when we got there and I had only progressed to a 3.
Total side note, but during my pregnancy I had seen 4 midwives and whoever was on call would deliver me. I had only seen this particular midwife one other time in my pregnancy, but she was SO great. I felt awesome about her delivering me. If you remember, I didn't get a new doctors office in Arizona until my 3rd trimester, so I didn't have the whole pregnancy to build up a relationship with the midwives. Thankfully they all seemed great and I was good with whoever I was going to have deliver me.
Now back to the induction...
I was so surprised that in those 2 weeks (the last time I was checked was 38 weeks) nothing had happened. She tried to "move my cervix forward" during the check and boy that did not feel good!
They decided that they would give me a gel called Cervidil that would get me contracting more and help me dilate.
I labor really quickly especially once my water is broken. I was expecting them to get me dilated a little and break my water and BAM the baby would be here, but it didn't quite work that way. Robbie is always nervous my water will break at home or while we're out somewhere and we won't make it to the hospital. I don't get any break between contractions once my water breaks and the baby comes very soon after!
They said that the cervidil can be in for up to 12 hours and basically it could be the next day before I met my baby. I was thinking there was no way that would happen but I guess we'll see...
They got me out of triage with my IV inserted, blood draws and my first round of antibiotics going ( I tested GBS positive this time...go figure. This pregnancy was definitely a doozy) by 4pm.
Robbie went and grabbed snacks and I was just waiting for something to happen. My contractions didn't feel like anything different was happening. I had a room with a nice big tub and I was hopeful they would let me labor in it, but since my BP was being monitored they wouldn't let me use the tub. I was pretty bummed about this.
About an hour after the cervidil was in it started kicking in and over time the contractions were getting more and more intense. I put on some meditation music to help me relax but it wasn't doing the job. They were beginning to feel how they do once my water breaks, so I was pretty confused on WHY they were so painful when my water was not broken. They just kept going and I was not getting a single break between them! I was using the birthing ball and feeling them in my back. I have never experienced back labor and it was not fun! I was concerned that baby had flipped back to sunny side up. He was that way around 36 weeks and I did everything I could to get him to flip. He had because I had a lot of relief in my back when that happened.
Sitting on the yoga ball was helping some but not for long. I was beginning to cry from the pain. My nurse offered IV pain meds and I decided to try it. They burned going in and did NOTHING for the pain. She decided to check me to see where I was at from all these contractions. You guys, I had not progressed AT ALL. Still a freakin' 3 and I was really crying at this point. No breaks to breath between contractions and no progression?! No freaking way!
The nurse decided to call my midwife in to see what she wanted to do. She decided to take the gel out and get me the epidural so I could have a break and some real relief from the pain. She assumed that I wasn't progressing because I couldn't relax at all during the contractions (how can you tho?!) and that because I was tensing up it was keeping me from dilating.
With my other two kids I had an epidural. I got it after my water broke and the pain was too much because of no breaks between the contractions. I got the epidural in time to just basically not feel the baby coming out.
So, they took the gel out and the contractions kept coming. I was not getting any relief with the gel out and my back was still killing me. I feel bad for my first nurse because I was being pretty hard to deal with haha. I kept complaining of the pain and crying. I couldn't figure out how it hurt so much when my water wasn't broke and HOW do women do this unmedicated like it was no big deal?! I had just read someone's birth story a few days prior about how "zen" she was and how she tapped into Mother Nature and her "womb power"...at that moment all I could think was WTF?! this is not zen haha. She kept telling me to not compare my labor to anyone else and if I need an epidural it doesn't make me weak or less of a powerful woman. I was just feeling like my body was failing me for some reason, which is so silly! I have really intense, fast labors and a low pain tolerance so it's A LOT to handle!
There was a shift change for the nurses and I think the day nurse was happy to leave ;) and in came the night nurse who immediately jumped in.
My midwife suggested I get on hands on knees to help with the back pain. I got on my hands and knees and during the contractions she had me hug the back of the bed and rock my hips. She rubbed my back and was just so amazing during my labor. My husband was also very helpful. It's amazing how all modesty goes flying out the window! haha. At this point my gown was pretty much off and I was only wearing a sports bra with my dang butt rocking in the air, but you legit do NOT care in that moment. I am glad I didn't opt for a birth photographer because no one wants to see that. ha!
With every contraction I could feel the baby getting lower into position. With the help of my labor nurse and midwife I was able to start to breath thru the contractions a little better rather than just cry in pain. At this point I was begging for the epidural. "15 minutes" is what I kept hearing because the anesthesiologist was in a C section. It felt like 15 minutes had already gone by a million times over. How does this ALWAYS happen to me?! I am always waiting what feels like an eternity for my epidural.
The contractions kept coming and when I finally felt like I was getting a tiny break between them, which made the BIGGEST difference, my water broke....all I could think was "well, there goes my "break" this baby will be here SOON! oh and WHERE IS THE EPIDURAL??" haha obviously I didn't go into my labor expecting to go unmedicated. I always say "I'll see how it goes" and end up with one.
Having your water break during labor is a super weird feeling by the way.
The nurse was insistent on getting me a dry bed ASAP, which I totally get but sitting up and even standing for the two seconds she needed to swap the sheets was brutal! I don't think they realized my water broke but maybe thought I peed from the increase in pressure.
The anesthesiologist FINALLY made his way into the room. He knew I was dying so he got right in there. He even said, "Wow, these contractions are all her? No patosin?" No, dude all me. Robbie answered most of his quick questions for me that they have to ask before the procedure.
I was having a hard time getting into position for the epidural because of the contractions. He asked me if it felt like I needed to push yet and I said no. They had me get to the edge of the bed and try to curl forward. I was having a hard time with it so they gave me a pillow to hug to see if that would help. Well, curling forward around that pillow and one more contraction just sent the baby further into position and I knew it was time to push. I knew I needed to say something because I was scared to have the epidural inserted with that feeling, and also at this point I'd prob get numb AFTER the baby was here and what was the point of that?
I said I felt like I needed to push, so he stopped what he was doing so my midwife could check me. Sure enough I was complete. She asked if I wanted the epidural or did I want to try to push. Having the epidural seemed silly at this point so she had me give her one push just to see if baby would move more, and after that I felt FULL pressure of his head. At that moment I looked at the anesthesiologist and said "Why did you take so long?!" and he just looked like he felt so terrible haha.
He left the room and a few extra nurses joined in to help with the arrival of the baby. This was SO different from any experience I have ever had. I wasn't comfy in bed and having my numb legs held up. I was barely laying on the edge with my legs butterflied open and basically no clothes on.
I gave another push and screamed probably the loudest I have ever screamed in my life. I have never experienced anything like it. His head was out and I was crying. One more push and his shoulders and the rest of him slipped out. Pretty sure I traumatized Robbie with this. Sorry babe. Robbie is also one to not want to look when the baby is coming out but because of my very "out there" positioning he said he caught a glimpse of the head! haha. poor guy. actually I don't feel sorry for him at all haha.
They laid him on my tummy because the umbilical chord was pretty short without the placenta out yet and they kept said "look at him! You did it!"
But you guys, it was hard for me to look at what I just did in that moment as a moment of strength. I couldn't stop sobbing and saying "I can't believe I just did that". Having an unplanned unmedicated birth was one of the hardest things I have ever done. All you ladies out there reading this who do it with grace, I envy you. It's actually funny that the week before I asked Robbie if he thought I could have an unmedicated birth and without hesitation he laughed and said "NO WAY!" because he know how painful they are for me. So I AM pretty proud I proved him wrong there haha.
I pushed the placenta out and we moved him to my chest. He was SO beautiful! He was a big boy! Go figure, my first unmedicated and my biggest babe. ha. We did delayed chord clamping and then Robbie cut the chord.
I tore just enough to need two stitches. Again, something I haven't experienced is getting stitches without the epidural. She needed to give me numbing shots before doing the stitches. I was so touched out "down there" by this point that I was basically begging my poor midwife to just leave me alone haha. I kept saying "I just need a minute". So she waited but finally said that the anticipation is going to make it worse so lets just get it over with. The nurses helped distract me while I got the stitches in and then I was finally able to relax a little. I am so thankful for my midwife. She was really an angel. She truly felt so bad that I didn't get the epidural in time but she knew I could do it without one, and with her amazing help and guidance I did it. She was pretty shocked that she never ended up leaving my room after coming to check on me, and delivered my baby about an hour later! 3 to complete in less than hour and a half people. Talk about intense!
Robbie and I spent probably an hour just holding him and staring at him. He came out ready to eat! He immediately found his thumb and was sucking away. We facetimed our families so they could see him and finally know the gender and name! Noah and Siena were still up and having a hard time going to bed without us there. They were so excited to see their new baby brother! Noah just knew he was going to get a boy! Much to our surprise, Noah started crying! We couldn't figure out what was wrong but just assumed he was overtired. A little while later my mother in law texted Robbie and said that he was upset because he though that my belly was cut and broken. I mean he has never seen his mommy looking so rough so it was probably kind of confusing! Sweet boy was just worried about his mama.
After we were done telling our family I nursed him for the first time. He latched like a dream and had a vacuum seal. It was crazy how ready he was to eat! He nursed for almost an hour before they took him to get cleaned and get his weight and measurements.
A big boy indeed, 8 lbs and 12oz of sweet chunk!
The next morning the kids came to visit and meet baby Sawyer. My sweet photographer came before to catch their reactions and get our first photos of us as a family of 5! I will always remember them meeting their baby brother for the first time. SO much excitement and curiosity! Noah asked me "if he has a home?" and was quite pleased when I told him that his home would be with us! haha! He also asked when he was going to learn to walk. These are the things I never want to forget! How are these babies all mine?!
The kids wanted to bring the baby a present. So they brought this red ball from home! Love their tender hearts!
Watching daddy change his diaper. She is so eager to "help"
I was SO exhausted. I didn't sleep the night before and was just so sore. I needed all the support in the world on my tummy to make it not feel like my insides were falling on the floor. I tried to sleep but it just doesn't happen until I go home from the hospital.
That night my mother in law came back with my father in law to visit me and the baby and they brought me a whole pizza. haha. The hunger struggle from nursing was already so real! I knew I'd probably be up all night and be so happy for that pizza!
The next morning we were just waiting around for discharge but they needed to do an ultrasound on the bottom of Sawyer's back. He has a deep dimple that they needed to make sure wasn't serious. Thankfully it wasn't! As we waited for the ultrasound my sister and nephew came to visit us. It was so nice getting to chat with her with no interruptions! My nephew was such a good boy admiring his new cousin. I love quality time with her!
We were finally released around noon and I was so happy to be heading home! I put Sawyer in the same hospital outfit I had picked for Noah. It is so fun to see him wear his old clothes and Noah also loves it! The walk to the car was tough and my recovery was also hard. I really had to keep up with my Ibuprofen doses and take it easy. After about a week my muscles started feeling better. Labor is seriously the most strenuous workout! I can't recommend having support tanks and wraps post partum enough!
The kids were so happy to have us home and just dote over their little brother all day long! We began to adjust to life as a family of 5 and I am just SO thankful for all the help I've had while we've done that!
I had a few post partum appointments soon after going home to check on my BP and it was already down. I am so thankful it never escalates into something serious!
I still can't believe I had an unmedicated birth! I know women do it all the time, but for me it is a big deal. It probably took me this long to get out his birth story because I needed some time to let it sink in. It was slightly traumatizing and if we have another baby in the future, I fear that I will be nervous and scared of delivery. That seems so silly, but it's how I feel! I think if I had some breathing breaks it would have made a big difference for me. I know I got thru it and we are both happy and healthy, so with time I'm sure those fears will melt away. I will probably prepare myself for a possible unmedicated birth and I will know what to expect. I will also hope that I can labor in water like I wanted to this time.
I am just so happy he is here! We are SO in love with our little guy and it's like he's always been apart of our family.
0 comments:
Post a Comment